BEYOND LANGUAGE

The state of being and its description in words are two different things. For instance: sadness. It is an experience. But how will you describe it? Can it be described as accurately as you have felt?Are the sadness you feel and the sadness I am feeling at the moment are same?

Fernando Pessoa (The Book Of Disquiet)rightly says that most literal language belongs to small children. When we are sad , tears well up in our eyes, what do we say? Pessoa says an 'idiot' says or writes:"I feel like crying'. But whereas small children will say(or write): 'I feel tears in my eyes'.It is more close to the experience the speaker has undergone.It is indeed tears that come to the eyes.Eyes become moist.They get swollen.And you really feel the tears.

All these thoughts have come rushing into me because I had similar experience a few days back. An experience where language or all the concepts of language collapse. Somewhat akin to what Gertrude Stein said on a different situation:"There was no there there.There was no then then"!

All my friends know that I was in International Hospital ( I became famous in FB.Infamous for my sympathy drive),Guwahati a few days ago following a sudden illness. A sort of gastronomical misadventure. That night when I was lying on the bed in the emergency ward mulling over the unpredictable nature of life, a beautiful nurse appeared before me like a vision of God. Her cherubic face radiated a smile that almost left me half-cured.The very next moment she brought out the syringe. I knew she meant business. She injected a dose of antibiotic in the canola. The moment she withdraw( I mean the syringe), I felt in my mouth something wavy with bitter taste. I could not sleep the whole night.I thought deeply how I could describe that experience in my mouth.I failed. Next day toward the evening I found a fitting television advertisement to describe that oral experience. I remembered man's after shave lotion Oldspice advertisement where a brawny young man in shorts wind surf and huge sea waves follow him like a hooded snake as to devour him. That is the image that truly approximates my experience that night.

I closed my eyes and realized that even a pop television image is capable of describing an experience that words fail.

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The International Hospital ,Guwahati is located on busy G.S. Road.I did observe the difficulty the pedestrians face in going across the road to and from the hospital. There is no pedestrian crossing.There is no traffic policing.There is heavy traffic all the time. Most of them are rogues. Our town planners have failed to notice that. Is it too beyond our language to notify that? What is this by the way? A state of being or an experience?